Monday, July 24, 2017

Dear God, keep Grandmom/Mom/Sylvia under your wing


Wow... these last couple days have gone from hope that Grandmom/Mom/Sylvia was going to make it through her open heart surgery with flying colors to a dramatic change for the worse.  The following will outline to the best of my fuzzy (and exhausted) memory what has happened over the last few days:

Saturday July 22

- Bob and I left around 10am to visit Mom at the hospital.  MeMom kindly took the kiddos to her house for the morning/afternoon.

- When Bob and I got to the hospital Mom was awake!  And sitting in her chair!  She looked great!  Her color had all returned and she was sipping her ginger ale!  I could feel a weight being released from Bob's shoulders!  Mom was in great spirits!  She said she was a little sore, but overall she shared that she didn't have too much pain.  Wonderful news, praise the Lord!  We stayed for many hours and talked about everything!  How Morgan and RJ were, the recent news about Quakertown closing a middle school, what the nurses had told her about the upcoming days, etc... it was so wonderful to spend time with her and see her on the 'other side' of the surgery!  To be completely honest, the surgery really worried me... a lot... I don't know why, but the surgery just wasn't sitting well with me, I was nervous/scared/afraid... so I was so glad to see her looking like herself and up in a chair!  We also got many kisses and hugs!  Mom was in such a good mood when we were with her!

Late afternoon/early evening we headed out to get our kiddos and promised Mom we'd be back tomorrow to spend more time with her, and we would bring Morgan and RJ to visit.  We got home, went out to supper, and I ran to the Loft to buy another pair of shorts (or two) while they were on a great sale. Around 6:45pm Bob called me and told me to get home immediately, the hospital called and they weren't sure what was going on, but it looked like Mom had had a stroke.  Oh my goodness!  I raced home as fast as I could and then figured out who could watch our kiddos so we could get back to the hospital!  One of our neighbors was able to come right over so we were able to head back to the hospital.

By the time we got there this is what I was told (after I asked my millions of questions... as I always do because I want to learn and know as much as possible!)
  - Mom started to slur her speech so they were thinking it could have been a stroke
  - A cat scan did not show any differences in her brain function, therefore, a stroke was somewhat ruled out
  - Mom's blood pressure plummeted down (top number was around 60)
  - Medications weren't bring up her blood pressure numbers
  - Keeping an eye on all her different levels

Oh gosh... panic started to set in for Bob and for I.  The doctors weren't really sure why this was happening.  What I got out of it was... maybe she threw a blood clot when her heart was in A-fib after the surgery.  Problem with that is... she would need blood thinners, but it isn't really good to use blood thinners after major surgery for obvious reasons. So we sat with her and waited.  We sat and our minds wandered.  We sat until they shared that her surgeon was coming back in.  I made the decision around 11pm that we were going to be at the hospital for a long while and my parents kindly went over and relived the babysitter and took the kiddos back to their house to sleep.

The surgeon explained that the right side of the heart pumps blood to the lungs.  The left side of the heart pumps blood to everywhere else in the body.  Her left side of the heart was where the surgery was completed, however, it was her right side of the heart that seemed to be sluggish and not working to the level they expected/wanted.  The surgeon shared what he thought might be wrong was... there may have been a slight tear that was missed during surgery and blood may be surrounding the heart.  If that was the case the heart would have to work harder to pump, causing the heart to appear sluggish.  The surgeon explained that he wanted to open Mom back up with hopes he was correct, suction out the excess blood and all would be resolved.  Obviously we agreed to what he wanted, he is the expert after all!  So... around midnight we attempted to get comfy in the waiting room.

Bob and I sat.  We waited.  We sat.  We waited.  The surgery was finished around 3am.  The surgeon shared that he was disappointed to tell us he found no blood.  He shared he was truly confused because he wasn't sure why Mom's blood pressure went so low and why it wasn't rebounding back up.  (Especially because she has always had high blood pressure and has taken medication to keep it lower!)  As it was going on 4am the nurse shared that Mom was not stable, but she was maintaining her current levels with the help of lots of medications.  The nurse suggested we go home for a couple hours of sleep and she would call if anything changed for the worse.  So we headed home, although we knew neither of us would sleep that much!

Bob sped home as we basically kept talking in circles about how scared we were and how we had to trust in God. We fell into bed, but I don't think either one of us slept much, our minds kept wandering and any second we expected the phone to ring with horrible news!

Sunday July 23

We did not get any phone calls in the couple hours we were laying in bed (last night? This morning?)  Good sign, we prayed and hoped!  I got up early and went to church.  I left mass a few minutes early, came home and Bob and I headed straight back to the hospital.  We did pick up coffee on the way!  When we got to the hospital they shared not too much had changed.  They still would not call Mom stable, they continued to say she was maintaining her current levels with the help of a LOT of medication. For some reason her right side of the heart continued to be pumping sluggishly, she was now going in and out of A-Fib, and her blood pressure continued to be low, even with the help of a lot of blood pressure medications.  Mom was in and out of sleep.  She continued to have the breathing tube because her breathing was not consistent enough without it and there was no reason for extra stress added to the heart.  When she would awake she would first ask for water and then mouth (whisper) I love you.  We sat with her and talked to her and assured her the doctors and nurses knew what they were doing.  Her Pastor, Pastor Bob, came again for a visit and prayed with us.  So kind of him to continue visiting her!  In the later afternoon Pop Pop brought Morgan and RJ over.  Grandmom opened her eyes and was able to mouth I love you to both of them.  Morgan got very emotional, but I thought it was best they visited with her just in case.  Morgan and RJ shared about what activities they had been doing and shared their excitement about our upcoming vacation.  I was so thankful they came to visit when she was still able to have some consciousness.

As the day wore on the doctors shared they were starting to have concerns with Mom's minimal urine output.  Last night they had mentioned her kidney function number was higher than prior to surgery, but at that time they weren't overly concerned.  As of tonight her levels were extremely high as she had minimal output even with all the fluid going in via medication, and now that was becoming a concern in fear her kidneys were shutting down.  They shared that dialysis was an option that may need to be discussed in the morning.

Monday July 24

Again, with not too much sleep under our belts we were up and out fairly early to get back to the hospital to be with Mom.  When we got there Mom's condition had remained status quo and the doctors were starting to show greater concern.  Her blood pressure (with the help of a lot of mediation) was still too low, her kidneys were not doing their job, and doctors were concerned her liver was not functioning as it should.  He ability to wake up or follow basic commands (squeeze my hand) had dramatically decreased (to almost not able to do anything).  Things were not looking good from my perspective.  I called Jeffrey and he said he would come over and pray with her and me.  Around noon it was shared that dialysis was going to be attempted.  The dialysis doctor was the most honest with us throughout this whole process.  He was blunt.  He basically said this doesn't look good.  We will try our best, but I have concerns that dialysis may be too much for her body at this point, but without kidney function she will pass away too.  Wow.  THAT was so hard to hear, but we needed to hear it, we needed to start preparing ourselves for the worst.  We left the room during her dialysis treatment.  (A typical dialysis treatment lasts 3-4 hours with hopes to remove 2-3 liters of fluid.  The doctor was hoping Mom's body could handle 2 hours with removal of 1 liter.  I didn't realize that for dialysis blood is removed from the body, strained for extra liquid then returned into the body.  Doing this causes blood pressure to decrease, hence why the doctor was concerned about dialysis seeing how low Mom's blood pressure was already.)  After about 2 hours it was shared that they were only able to get .5 liters of fluid.  That was not good news.  The doctor shared that with the blood pressure medications alone, Mom was getting 2 liters of fluid pumped in a day.  (She had at least 15-20 bags of fluids/medications being provided at all times throughout the day, so I can't imagine how much fluid her poor body was actually taking in and not releasing.)  I could see a color change in her skin (a yellowish tint and her hands that were constantly being held were getting swollen.

Jeffrey came and because Mom was baptized he was able to give her the Anointing of the Sick (to me... the last rights).  It was comforting to me that he was able to resolve her of all her sins, as to me that is important having grown up Catholic.  Pastor Bob also came for a visit.  Aunt Virginia also came to visit for a while.  We were all just in shock, and prayed.  We prayed a lot.  I prayed for God's will.  Although we all wanted Mom to pull through, I just wanted what God wanted.  I also didn't want Mom to be in pain.  I also worried if she pulled through that she would never be the same.  SO, I just prayed a lot.  I tried my best to comfort Bob as much as I could.  This whole thing has been so very hard.  So very sudden.  So overwhelming.  So upsetting.  I just don't have words.  We left around 9ish to head home, promising Mom we would be back in the morning.
 Morgan and RJ were her pride and joy!

No comments: